Sunday, January 29, 2006

Heckler Thomas (A profile in self-importance)

Old and irrelevant is how I'd describe her.

Helen Thomas, "The First Lady Hag of the Press", is President Bush's biggest heckler. Since the time of the Kennedy Administration, she had been priveleged with a tradition of allowing her the first question at White House Press Conferences. At the end, she'd also say on behalf of the Press corps, "Thank you, Mr. President."

Since March 6, 2003, that tradition came to a screeching snub. And according to the Drudge Report, last Thursday was another day of making the venerable doyenne feel irrelevant during a 45-minute press conference where President Bush accepted questions from every reporter around her in the front row.

"He's a coward," she said later. "He's supposed to be this macho guy. He'll take on Osama bin Laden, but he won't take me on."

Based upon what she claims she would have asked the President that day, and guessing at what President Bush might have liked to toss back at her, I have constructed the following obscenely accurate, well-researched, question-and-answer session: Let's just pretend that President Bush did call on Helen Thomas for that oh-so, significantly insightful question she had cooked up for the President...

Isn't it obvious? In 1978, we didn't have the kinds of communication capabilities back then that we have today, from laptops and fiber optics and e-mail accounts, to cell phones.

"The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll kill myself,"-Helen Thomas

Quick! Let's impeach Bush!!!

Uh...yeah, right....just like Hollywood liberals kept their promise when saying they'd move out of the country should President Bush win re-election. What a miserable hag...

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Blogger Gayle said...

ROTFALMAO! This is priceless!

Excellent job, Wordsmith! What's even more astounding is that you found someone to post that's even ooglier than Cindy Sheehan! I didn't think it was possible. That last picture is enough to give me nightmares! (shudder) I copied that picture and am going to link it back to you. If they want to know what it's about they'll have to come over here!


Sunday, January 29, 2006 8:14:00 PM  
Anonymous skye said...

Wow, she's been irrelevent for quite sime time then!

Love this comic relief, Wordsmith :)

Since the time of the Kennedy Administration, she had been priveleged with a tradition of allowing her the first question at White House Press Conferences.

Sunday, January 29, 2006 8:32:00 PM  
Blogger Gayle said...

Okay, I posted regarding your post on My Republican Blog. I hope they take my word for it. I also hope that picture I posted doesn't scare them off! :)

Sunday, January 29, 2006 8:47:00 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

I'm with Gayle...that pic is going to give me nightmares!

Sunday, January 29, 2006 9:45:00 PM  
Blogger Gayle said...

Too funny. Texas Fred came into my blog and said he wouldnt be back "until that ugly old dyke rolls off the front page!" When I said she might scare them off I was only kidding!

Sunday, January 29, 2006 10:26:00 PM  
Blogger The WordSmith from Nantucket said...

Awwww.....the compassionate conservative in me is beginning to feel sorry we're being so mean to her.

Maybe it's just her makeup? That bright red lipstick is an eyesore. A little more around the mouth, and it'd look like clown paint.

Sunday, January 29, 2006 11:09:00 PM  
Blogger Rosemary said...

Aside from the stupidity and irrelevancy of her questions, we sure do get a lot of fun out her! Do you remember Aunt Bethany? Next time you hear Helen, shut your eyes and listen. Doesn't she sound just like her?! *laughter*

Sunday, January 29, 2006 11:56:00 PM  
Blogger Gayle said...

Wordsmith, bright red lipstick on anyone who is elderly really looks awful, and she would look better with a much lighter lipstick. Very good observation for a guy! :) However, she really looks mean in this picture. Look at her eyes! She looks as though she eats nails for breakfast!

I came back in here to notify you that Let Our Voices Be Heard...Laughing will not be removed. I had so much of a reaction to removing it (which surprised and flattered me) that I have decided to let it stand. Please stop by that blog whenever you get a chance for details. I hate using the comment section for this but you don't have an e-mail linked.

Monday, January 30, 2006 8:54:00 AM  
Blogger Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Came her via Gayle. Great and Hilarious post!!

Monday, January 30, 2006 9:17:00 AM  
Blogger Revka said...

Came here too, via Gayle.. That post was hilarious!! Man.. That last pic is scarey.. Kind of what happens when you are angry your whole life.. Permanent hag, anger look. Just like Hitlary.. Hilt has the Helen, PMS look.

Monday, January 30, 2006 10:25:00 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

She said, "He's a coward. He's supposed to be this macho guy. He'll take on Osama bin Laden, but he won't take me on."

Am I the only one that sees this oxy-MORON here?

He'll take on bin Laden, but not her? ROFLMAO! That isn't cowardice, that's compassion for his countrymen.

I wouldn't wish Helen Thomas on my worst enemy.

Well, wait a minute. Yes, I would. Michael Moore comes to mind. Wouldn't that be a marriage made in Heaven?

Monday, January 30, 2006 11:22:00 AM  
Blogger The WordSmith from Nantucket said...

Gayle, thanks for linking me. Nice to see Helen Thomas's face attract some new faces around here.

Monday, January 30, 2006 1:35:00 PM  
Blogger Pamela Reece said...

Holy moley, dude....I'm laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my cheeks!!! Knock that off! This is the second time in less than 4 days you've had me in stitches!

Monday, January 30, 2006 1:55:00 PM  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Someone once said (I think it was BZ) that Helen Thomas's face is Tammy Faye Baker in 80 more years.

But that would be judgmental, wouldn't it?

Wordsmith: I think that was marvelous! I PARTICULARLY enjoyed Bush's commentless-but-smiling response to his being the "worst president in history!" That knocked me right on the deck!

Monday, January 30, 2006 1:56:00 PM  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Sorry. I apologize. Make that 180 more years.

Monday, January 30, 2006 1:57:00 PM  
Blogger miriam said...

Why doesn't someone put her out of her misery? Since we are now a fascist state, it could be easily done.

Monday, January 30, 2006 2:51:00 PM  
Blogger NEO, SOC said...

miriam; way to funny.

wordsmith; way too funny! I only came here on Gayle's unctioning. That picture frightens me. Great dialogue in the film strip!

Monday, January 30, 2006 3:42:00 PM  
Blogger Rebekah said...

I think that picture could scare anyone!
LOL - love those "quotes"! :D

Monday, January 30, 2006 4:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was one of the best posts I have read lately.

The woman is a hag

Monday, January 30, 2006 5:07:00 PM  
Blogger The WordSmith from Nantucket said...

Just occurred to me: I posted this on the day the Chinese celebrate their new year: The Year of the Dog!


Tuesday, January 31, 2006 1:27:00 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I read this yesterday and thought I had left a comment - but I guess I didn't.

This is hilarious. I borrowed your picture (the scary one .... uh ... I mean the really scary one ... well, the scariest one, the one at the bottom of the post) and made a little announcement for her.

Your post inspired me :) Thanks....

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 9:15:00 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

This was excellent and absolutely hysterical. I certainly have not missed hearing her at news conferences, in fact, I thought she was retired or dead!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006 1:24:00 PM  

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