The Atheist
THE ATHEIST
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in
Alaska,
admiring all
that evolution had created. "What majestic trees!
What a powerful
river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was
walking
alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the
bushes behind him.
Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodak brown bear
beginning to
charge
toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the
path. He looked
over
his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly
closing on him.
Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears
came to his eyes.
He
looked again & the bear was even closer. His heart
pounding in his
chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he
tripped and fell
to the
ground.
As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was
right over him,
reaching for him with it's left paw and raising its
right paw to
strike
him....he yelled out, "OH MY GOD!"
Time stopped.......
The bear froze.......
The forest was silent............
Even the river stopped moving.
As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a
thunderous voice came
from
all around, GOD SPOKE: "YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR
ALL THESE YEARS,
TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT
CREATION TO SOME
COSMIC
ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS
PREDICAMENT?
AM I
TO COUNT YOU NOW AS A BELIEVER?"
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly
into the light &
said,
"It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian
after all these
years, but perhaps you could make the bear a
Christian?"
"VERY WELL," said GOD.
The light went out...
The river ran...
The sounds of the forest resumed...
And the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together,
Bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this
food which I
am
about to receive. Amen."
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in
Alaska,
admiring all
that evolution had created. "What majestic trees!
What a powerful
river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was
walking
alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the
bushes behind him.
Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodak brown bear
beginning to
charge
toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the
path. He looked
over
his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly
closing on him.
Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears
came to his eyes.
He
looked again & the bear was even closer. His heart
pounding in his
chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he
tripped and fell
to the
ground.
As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was
right over him,
reaching for him with it's left paw and raising its
right paw to
strike
him....he yelled out, "OH MY GOD!"
Time stopped.......
The bear froze.......
The forest was silent............
Even the river stopped moving.
As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a
thunderous voice came
from
all around, GOD SPOKE: "YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR
ALL THESE YEARS,
TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT
CREATION TO SOME
COSMIC
ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS
PREDICAMENT?
AM I
TO COUNT YOU NOW AS A BELIEVER?"
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly
into the light &
said,
"It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian
after all these
years, but perhaps you could make the bear a
Christian?"
"VERY WELL," said GOD.
The light went out...
The river ran...
The sounds of the forest resumed...
And the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together,
Bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this
food which I
am
about to receive. Amen."
Labels: ACLU, Christianity, humor, radical secular militant extremists, religion
4 Comments:
Ha ha ha perhaps we will convert you yet?
That is my favourite religious joke.
Good times...
Hilarious. Great joke man. Hey, I posted a link to your blog on my blog; I hope you don't mind. Anyways; great post.
Goggalor
The Young Conservatives
What I like about this joke is that it tacitly acknowledges C.S. Lewis's astute point that being Christian has nothing to do with being good.
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