Wednesday, February 07, 2007

How the Binch Stole Tuesday

Since I'm on a Dr. Seuss tear, I thought I might as well post this classic. I'm sure everyone's probably seen this in an email forward. For fun, read along to the audio recitation.

The Binch
By Rob Suggs

Every U down in Uville liked the U.S. a lot,
But the Binch, who lived Far East of U-ville, did not.
The Binch hated U.S! The whole U.S. way!
Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,
It could be his turban was screwed on too tight.
Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But, Whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,
He stood facing U-ville, the part that was urban.
"They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch.
"They're raising their families! They're going to church!
They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving,
I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!"

Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's,
Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses,
They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools,
And abide by their U and S values and rules.
And then they'd do something he liked least of all,
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand all united, each U and each S,
And they'd sing U-ville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!"
All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they'd stand, and their voices would drown every sound in the land.

"I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk,
And he had an idea -- an idea that might work!
The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours,
And crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers.
"They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour,
"And how can they sing when they can't find a tower?"

The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping,
All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping,
Instead he heard something that started quite low,
And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow--
And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...
And he couldn't believe it--they started to sing!

He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,
What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any towers at all!

He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!
For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young
Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride,
And you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside.

So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,
With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small,
And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope,
For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.

For America means a bit more than tall towers,
It means more than wealth or political powers,
It's more than our enemies ever could guess,
So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless!

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Blogger The Liberal Lie The Conservative Truth said...

This is fantastic. I have never seen or heard this before. Well done, well said and so true! Thanks for being on the Suess kick. It's been fun and this was the topper.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007 7:25:00 AM  
Blogger Old Soldier said...

So what does Suess say about the Democrats taking up where the Binch left off?

Wednesday, February 07, 2007 8:11:00 AM  
Blogger Gayle said...

That is so cool, Wordsmith! I've never read this before either. Great find!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007 9:18:00 AM  
Blogger The WordSmith from Nantucket said...

Well, I'm glad I posted this up, since not everyone's seen it. I guess it's not circulated around as much now as it was right after 9/11.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007 11:17:00 PM  
Blogger RoxieAmerica said...

I enjoyed it :) thanks!

Thursday, February 08, 2007 6:49:00 AM  
Blogger WomanHonorThyself said...

For America means a bit more than tall towers,
It means more than wealth or political powers,
It's more than our enemies ever could guess,
So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless!..BoooooooooYeaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Thursday, February 08, 2007 8:51:00 AM  
Blogger Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I've never seen or heard this before either and I totally love it. Awesome find!!!

Thursday, February 08, 2007 1:25:00 PM  
Blogger Marie's Two Cents said...

Truly Awesome!

Thursday, February 08, 2007 2:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anna said...

That was GREAT, Word! I've only been blogging since '05, so I didn't see that back in '01. Thank you so much for sharing it again with those of us who had read it!

Friday, February 09, 2007 5:56:00 AM  

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